Communication is very important in every relationship or connection. However, some people hold communication patterns from the past, when they were abused or poorly treated by family members, friends, and even their partners. Most of us bring these hurtful experiences, expecting bad things to happen and protecting our authentic selves out of the fear of rejection or judgment. Thus to create genuine connections most people should work on the efficiency and veracity of their communication.
When we talk about toxic patterns in a relationship or friendship, we don’t necessarily mean insecurity issues, hurtful behavior, or physical and emotional abuse. Addressing toxic communication patterns in a relationship is very important for preventing multiple cases of misunderstanding and conflicts.
The manner in which you communicate with your partner is an indication of how healthy your connection is. Negative communication patterns include dismissing what your partner says, exhibiting contempt, and trying to harm your counterpart with your words as a form of retaliation. You should talk about your needs and be fair about your emotions and thoughts, practice genuine and open communication.
Communication platforms like Talkliv have been developed to meet new people, share ideas, and develop quality communication patterns. However, it is difficult for communication to be productive if toxic patterns are involved.
Top 3 toxic communication patterns that can sabotage your relationship:
- Speaking on Behalf Of Your Counterpart
After knowing someone for a very long time, the boundaries between the both of you tend to narrow. As a result, you may find yourself ordering their favorite food or telling their stories. Even though this indicates how well you know and appreciate them, it is not appropriate to not allow them to speak for themselves. You also do not let the person you are connected with find their growth space and make a change in their lives.
Instead of always ordering or speaking for your friend or partner, always let them make their choices, since they may be wanting to try something new. They may like americano, but want to try cappuccino for a change. Speaking for someone else in every situation can expose you as a controlling person, and this can ruin your connection.
Gaslighting refers to the act of trying to make your friend doubt their sense of reality. It is also one of the leading toxic communication patterns that can ruin the connection you have.
A good instance of gaslighting is when your counterpart says you are too abusive, but you try to convince them that you were trying to help them make better decisions. If you think that your opinion is in any way better than theirs and being controlling is helping the other person in any way, then you are gaslighting.
Whenever your friend comes up with an issue, it is important to give it a deep thought and try to work together in reaching a solution together. This will help to prevent toxic communication patterns.
- Being Too Defensive
Whenever your friend brings up an issue or tells you about something that is bothering them, the best way to listen and to apologize if you hurt their feelings. Let your counterpart know that you are concerned with the issue that is frustrating them. The wrong way to respond is by being too defensive and saying the issue is not your fault at all.
Can you avoid toxic communication patterns?
Yes, if you’re ready to analyze yourself and put in some work. Quality communication is crucial in any person’s life, so it is important to understand what toxic communication patterns are and try to avoid them, so you can create healthy connections. Not communicating well and being toxic can lead to a relationship ending unpleasantly.
Are you willing to practice productive communication patterns? Join Placetochat now and find supportive chats in our community!